the wedding of the year

Weddings (Christian weddings, or "church weddings," as opposed to "traditional" marriages) are a big deal here. More people go into debt, it seems, to throw an extravagant wedding celebration than for any other reason. Weddings here are an interesting blend of Shona and western culture, and no two are alike. We've been to three weddings so far and the one last weekend was definitely my favorite (our pastor's only son, Tendai, was the lucky guy).

So, as with weddings in the states, they require a lot of coordination. But, unlike the States, transportation is scarce here, so offering to help with transportation is a big deal...and that's what we did. Honestly, I thought I would just be carrying chairs and people from the ceremony at the church to the reception a few miles away. But the night before the wedding I got a call from Tendai's "transportation manager" asking me to drive to the mother-in-law's house (about 30 miles away) to pick up people and gifts at 6:30am. Not so bad, really, but there's more. So I drove first to the "tm's" house and then in a caravan to the mining village where mom-in-law lives. All in all, we were two pick-ups, two cars, and two minibuses...and by the time we left they were all packed. So back to Harare we go.

Zimbabweans have this great tradition of honking their horns incessantly as they approach the site of the wedding, to let everyone in the neighborhood know that he and she will soon be off the market. Actually we did the same thing as we were leaving the wife's village as well. It's kind of obnoxious when you're an innocent bystander but behind the wheel it was kind of fun. :) Every moment, from the donning of the dress to the after-party, is caught on video. To that end, I had a video man standing in the bed of my truck so he could capture the caravan as we drove through town. When the bride finally reaches church and disembarks, she is not allowed to step on the ground. Instead, women take turns laying their "zambias"--cloths which are usually wrapped around their waists as an extra layer--down in front of her. This energetic game of leapfrog continues all the way to the front of the church!

The ceremony itself is pretty standard--vows, rings, sermon, pronouncement. [As a side note, this was the only wedding of the three we've been to that was done in Shona (the others in English), which I was so pleased with. I know, English is the cool, modern, cosmopolitan way to go here, but vows in a second language?] Then, strangely, the cakes come out (well, they were there all along). Instead of the wedding cake(s) being a much-anticipated dessert for the guests, it is conscripted into service of the Shona custom of honoring your in-laws. So, everyone watches while the groom gets on his knees in front of all his in-laws and offers them a tasty morsel, and then the bride does the same. Finally, the rest of the cake is cut up into marble-sized pieces and distributed to the guests right there in the church. After three weddings, I still find myself saying, "that's all I get??" But then again the Shona aren't really dessert people :) So after much ululating, dancing, arm-waving and whistling, we all leave the church and go to the reception. Food, and lots of it, flows freely. The Shona are not shy about saying (from the pulpit even) that a celebration isn't a celebration unless everybody is fed. Now, of course there is music and a DJ. I'm sure that every wedding I go to boasts larger loudspeakers than the one before. I mean, these were size of small house. And loud. If there's one thing I really don't like about the culture here, it's that bigger is always better, no questions asked. We sat as far away from the speakers as culturally acceptable, and with any luck our baby will have working eardrums. So after speeches, dances, presentation of gifts (which are announced and celebrated, one by one), it was time to take the mother-in-law back to the village. So off we go, with a truck bed full of gifts. Some people were worried about theft of the gifts at stoplights, so I tried not to stop at them. We unloaded the truck in the dark, said our goodbyes, and I got home around 7:30... So weddings are a big deal here...and being a part of the madness made for a good day :)